Saturday, December 21, 2024

Evangelists

  

Evangelists

 

       "Hello, we're from the Church of Celestial Greatness," the identically dressed youths chimed.

       I growled and rolled my eyes to the back of my head. I was not telegraphing a message but sending it with a precision laser beam.

       "God has sent us here to proclaim the good news of the celestial heaven," exhaled one of the pair in an exasperated breath. He spoke with all the drama of a game show host.

       I looked down upon the humans. As far as I was concerned, that species was the vilest scum the universe had ever vomited up. "Isn't that the church where the reverend took all the money and ran off with the secretary?" I hadn't a clue who these people were, but it was my standard line. You live on the periphery of the galaxy you have to be prepared for all sorts. Especially offensive intrusions of vulgarity.

       The pair looked at each other sheepishly as if I had tread upon some tender wound. One spoke up, his voice quivering and full of nervousness. "No, you're thinking of the Church of Celestial Magnificence," he squeaked. "We cut all our ties with them a good time ago." He managed to smile. Ah, how primitive humans were showing me their teeth! In my culture, that is a challenge to fight.

       In return, I opened my lips to reveal my multiple rows of sharp teeth that could literally bite their heads off. "But don't you hold the same text sacred? I mean, one stinky potato is just like another stinky potato." I roared out the words. Once again, it was my usual response. The evangelists would have felt obliged to educate me if I had pleaded ignorance.

       "Well, yes, sir," squeaked one nervously, stretching his collar with his finger as if his shirt had suddenly shrunk.

       "Well," I snarled. I had better things to do, like staring at a blank wall. My nostrils flared.

       Once more in uncertainty, the two glanced at each other, each exhibiting agonized looks. Returning their attention to me, one said, " Well, thank you for your time, sir."

       A look of sorrow swept across my face as I gave a big sigh. "But I thought you would be staying for dinner!" My voice whined in pity.

       "Dinner!" cried the other, finally breaking his silence. What were you eating?"

       I gave the grandest smile of the day. This was my favorite part when encountering evangelists. "You," I spoke slyly.

       Off to the races, the pair ran, clomping their shoes as they fled. In their haste, the duo neglected to collect their satchel. I took the liberty to investigate and find a host of various printed materials. I was utterly delighted. I now did not need to purchase lining for the bottom of Clarence's cage, my pet bird. All in all, I must say it wasn't a bad day. At least this time, I wasn't going to jail! It's two days at the rock for each evangelist's head you bite off. You see, they knock on the magistrate's door as well.


If you enjoyed this story, you definitely want to read In The Mind Of Maggoo!

Thursday, December 19, 2024

The Richest Man in the World

 The Richest Man in the World 

       "Do you trust the wizard?"

       "He's not a wizard. Rather, the man is a sci-en-tist, whatever that means?"

       Surman stood upon the side of King Nebuchadnezzar. The advisor had a very precarious job. On the one hand, he was responsible for giving sound advice to the grand monarch. On the other, he could not be presumptuous or condescending in the slightest manner. One slip of his tongue and he might follow his predecessor into jail or worse.

       "Then do you trust this scientist?" Surman not only repeated himself but also, in a roundabout way, challenged the king of kings. After all, his actions made it clear that King Nebuchadnezzar had faith in this stranger.

       "He does have the most convincing proof of wonderful things, does he not?" The monarch had a grand smile. "You saw his flashlight, haven't you?"

       "Indeed, I have," Surman spoke in awe. "As I have also seen his pistol."

       "Truly, they are great magic, are they not?"

       "No, they are from science," corrected Surman. Afraid he had ruffled the hair of the monarch, he quickly added, "As you have so distinctly pointed out already."

       "And this time machine," Nebuchadnezzar's eyes flashed open wide in wonder. "Oh, the marvel of it all."

       "But you are not certain that this man can travel in time, are you?" Surman knew that the direct approach was sometimes necessary. Nebuchadnezzar could get talking on a subject and spend hours babbling.

       "Sometimes in life, we must take chances," the grand monarch replied.

       "And what are you paying for this trip in time?" The chief advisor knew the answer already. He just wanted Nebuchadnezzar to think very hard on the matter.

       "Oh, half of my kingdom," replied the King with a casual wave of his hand as if offering a fellow half of his lunch.

       "You are the richest man in the world!" Surman retorted.

       "And what of it?" hissed the King. "Yes, I have grand palaces filled with harems of delightful ladies for my pleasure. I have more gold and silver than any man could dream of or desire. I have horses for a hundred thousand riders; doesn't that make it all clear?"

       "In what way, oh great one?"

       "I have everything a man could desire," Nebuchadnezzar said with a sigh. There are no more worlds for me to conquer," the King paused, his eyes staring vacantly at nothing. What this man offers me is more than I could dream of, " the King paused again. “No, it is more than any man could dream of."

       Surman held his tongue, contemplating the words of his sovereign. He thought the mission was foolhardy and perilous. Still, it was his job only to advise. He was to support the King in all matters, regardless of his own personal opinion.

       "Think of it, man," King Nebuchadnezzar spoke with the excitement of a boy on his birthday. "To see all those wonders. Flying ships that travel through the air. Tall buildings that reach up into the sky. Chariots without horses. Why did you hear the sci-en-tist talk as well as I did? Doesn't it fill you with a sense of wonder about all those marvelous things that he describes? Wouldn't you give half your kingdom but half your life to spend one day there? Why society must be grand beyond belief!"

       "It is your decision, oh wise king Nebuchadnezzar," Surman acquiesced with a reluctant sigh. He knew he could not sway his sovereign from traveling to the future.

###

       "So, he walks into the box, you set the instruments, and you pull the switch?" Surman wanted to make sure he knew all the details.

       "That's right," Doctor Goodman replied with a grand smile. Nebuchadnezzar will arrive in the future in the greatest city that ever existed on the face of the Earth. He will arrive at the pinnacle of civilization."

       "Yes," said King Nebuchadnezzar, "I will be going to New Yawk City." The monarch smiled grandly. "There, buildings stand a third of a mile tall, and huge horseless carriages travel underneath the streets."

       Surman gritted his teeth. His liege was acting like the perfect fool. This Doctor Goodman reeked like a total fraud. However, his wonders from the future baffled not only the advisor but all the experts of Babylonia. "And he can bring nothing with him?" asked the advisor.

       "No," Doctor Goodman said softly. "Only with transference with the time machine itself can physical objects be transported."

       "So, he will arrive in this New Yawk City naked?" Surman asked bitterly.

       "Come now," objected King Nebuchadnezzar, "what I need surely I will attain. Why I'll be in the lap of luxury, will I not?"

       "Yes, indeed, you shall!" eagerly agreed Doctor Goodman with a smile.

       "Then it is all settled," the king of kings said as he entered the chamber. Doctor Goodman shut the door behind him. He examined the controls and dials, making sure they were exactly set. Then he pulled the lever. The machine started vibrating and then suddenly stopped. The door then opened, revealing a vacant chamber. All the Babylonians were overwhelmed with awe.

###

       "Okay, mister, I'm sure you got some good reason why you're wearing your birthday suit in Times Square?"

       "Yes," replied King Nebuchadnezzar, "I have just traveled through time to witness the greatest city on Earth." The monarch looked upwards at the tremendous towers seemingly touching the sky. In the air, he saw an immense bird. He contemplated that the awe-inspiring sight was a machine carrying people. The King let out a long, delightful laugh.

       "Okay, okay, and just who might you be then?" asked the cop.

       "Why, I am King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon, the king of kings!"

       "O' Malley, this is Lewis; send the transport to Times Square; we got ourselves a real winner here."

       King Nebuchadnezzar continued to take in the sights, overcome with awe.

       "You'll be coming with me, Your Majesty," the police officer said gruffly.

       "And where shall you be taking me?"

       "Oh, we have a great place for all visiting royalty who show up naked. It's called Bellevue Psychiatric Hospital."

       "Splendid," cried out King Nebuchadnezzar, "will there be a harem of wenches awaiting me there?"  


If you enjoyed this story, you definitely want to read In The Mind Of Maggoo!



 

Soup Kitchen

 Soup Kitchen

 

Politicians proclaim

All is fine

The economy is getting stronger

All the same

The soup kitchen line

Everyday is getting longer

They have two pots

From which to eat

One with vegetables

And one with meat

So here I sit and wait

A lengthy sermon comes first

Hear the preacher pontificate

I don't know which is worst

The man with the awful smell

Or threats of eternal hell

Still I guess

This is a blessing

My life is a mess

And I'm always guessing

Where I'll get my next meal

Imagine how I feel

Poverty is real

So to you in your lofty towers white

Who eat luscious treats of delight

Of whom the poor

You choose to ignore

There's a whole army down here

Complaining and bitching

In the soup kitchen

You'd better fear

Cause we have a solution

It's called revolution 


To Gef FeatherLeaf Speaks




Wednesday, December 18, 2024

Love

 Love

 

Love

Love is like baking cookies of delight

You got to get the recipe just right

Start with a heaping measure of grace

If you did it correct, you have a smile on your face

Mix in some sugar, doubly sweet

Some kind words makes the task complete

Make sure that you include some of your heart

That is the extra special part

Allow the cookies to go through the fire

A little pain is needed, whatever the desire

Keep after them with proper concern

Otherwise they just might burn

Once they are baked allow them to cool

Move to fast, well you’re a fool

Cause patience is the number one thing

You can always hum if you can’t sing

Take a nibble just for a taste

Share with everybody let none go to waste

When your cookies are gone, just bake some more

Remember, make Love, not war









Mechanical Bird Versus Live Sparrow

 Mechanical Bird Versus Live Sparrow 

 

It’s a mixed up world tell me what’s the deal            

Sometimes silicone sometimes titanium steel                       

Hocus pocus losing focus what is real                       

AI is trying to make the ultimate steal                       

           

Mechanical Bird Versus Live Sparrow

Walking down the straight and narrow

Don’t blink twice you’ll miss the show

Mechanical Bird Versus Live Sparrow

 

Politicians’ promises are fluent lies

Angels singing or maybe demons in disguise

The mechanical bird powered by the machine

Our lovely live sparrow the poet’s dream

 

Mechanical Bird Versus Live Sparrow

Walking down the straight and narrow

Don’t blink twice you’ll miss the show

Mechanical Bird Versus Live Sparrow

 

It was a blindfolded test the children couldn’t see

Our two contestants sung their songs so lovely

It was a simple line from Bach’s melody

Saint Mathew’s Passion performed for free

 

The fate of the free world hanging on tight

You have a list of the facts now choose wrong or right

Heart and soul they’re bringing back the auction block

Raised on religion but got converted to rock

 

Mechanical Bird Versus Live Sparrow

Walking down the straight and narrow

Don’t blink twice you’ll miss the show

Mechanical Bird Versus Live Sparrow

 

I don’t want to die in a nuclear war

I don’t want to be a prisoner of Babylon The Whore

The mechanical bird only wants to be loved

And God’s eye is on the sparrow so what’s life made of? 



The Big Book Of Song Lyrics, Check It Out!!

Sunday, November 10, 2024

Noah

 Noah

 

He’s the fiery skies on the final fourth of July                      

A soldier of fortune refusing orders to die                             

Thunder explodes as jet bombers count the cost                   

Fearing hearing the rhythms of a nuclear holocaust              

 

None other than Noah God’s drummer

A flash of fire in forever’s summer

Playing on garbage cans he’s an overcomer

That’s the man called Noah God’s drummer

 

Rachel screams “Boy in this life hold fast to your dreams”

I got a book of truth but it ain’t what it seems

Keep on wailing never failing in the fight

Busting trusting in the power of music to set all things right

 

None other than Noah God’s drummer

A flash of fire in forever’s summer

Playing on garbage cans he’s an overcomer

That’s the man called Noah God’s drummer

 

Noah is running with the wolves howling at the moon

They’ve been saying the Second Coming’s real soon

And Noah complains that he’s fresh out of rain

Booming consuming God says I got fire and I won’t refrain

 

None other than Noah God’s drummer

A flash of fire in forever’s summer

Playing on garbage cans he’s an overcomer

That’s the man called Noah God’s drummer

 

What’ s a boy to do in this crazy mixed-up world

Except join a rock and roll band and love a girl

Keep the beat Noah all eyes are fixed in a gaze

I pray for you child for some better days

 

Under a raging Moon the good always die too young

There are too many songs that are left unsung

Start with your heart and walk down the straight trail

Tapping rapping if you try and reach high you cannot fail

 

None other than Noah God’s drummer

A flash of fire in forever’s summer

Playing on garbage cans he’s an overcomer

That’s the man called Noah God’s drummer



 GREAT BOOK OF SONG LYRICS


The Big Book Of Song Lyrics, Check It Out!!

Evan The Engineer

Evan The Engineer

 

It was the fall of twenty twenty four

Wild winds were wailing woes of world war

Billionaires buzzed busting unions for a buck

Down in Reno town there was a run of bad luck

 

Evan the engineer

A man without fears

Proficient with gears

Wise beyond his years

Evan the engineer

 

Jesus sat on the avenue holding a cardboard sign

“I’ll work for food” was the solitary line

Wes was in the kitchen cooking sermons of chicken

Ethan mused “Ah I see the plot thicken”

 

Evan the engineer

A man without fears

Proficient with gears

Wise beyond his years

Evan the engineer

 

False prophets proclaimed predictions of pure hate

All is fine be mine fill the collection plate

Mother Marlene had a dream of endless names

Faith without deeds is death read the book of James

 

Evan the engineer

A man without fears

Proficient with gears

Wise beyond his years

Evan the engineer

 

The moral of the story is give God the glory

Preach sermons of truth but try not to bore me

Evan invented a glorious machine of truth

But alas as in the past they ignore the youth

 

In my crystal ball I look into tomorrow

Mary never sleeps as she weeps with sorrow

Hand in hand singing with the Salvation Army Band

An endless rendition of the sin of the damned

 

Evan the engineer

A man without fears

Proficient with gears

Wise beyond his years

Evan the engineer


 GREAT BOOK OF SONG LYRICS


The Big Book Of Song Lyrics, Check It Out!!

Friday, October 11, 2024

Angel

 To Robert and Angel. May God bless you with many happy years!

Angel

 

Stretch your wings baby cause we’re gonna fly        

You can only make it if you give a try                       

Poets and dreamers they know the reason why         

Stretch your wings baby it’s do or die                                   

 

Hey Angel love is in your smile

A lifetime is only a short while

Hey Angel forever lover and friend

To somewhere beyond the end

 

Heaven sweet baby is when I’m with you

I woke up in a dream that you made true

No more crying we’re flying in skies blue

To learn the universe every single clue

 

Hey Angel love is in your smile

A lifetime is only a short while

Hey Angel forever lover and friend

To somewhere beyond the end

 

We may have rain my beautiful wife

But remember the waters are the source of life

I may get angry and talk like a fool

Still in my heart queen is the throne you rule

 

Hey Angel love is in your smile

A lifetime is only a short while

Hey Angel forever lover and friend

To somewhere beyond the end

 

I’ve got my guitar I’m going to play a happy song

I’ll share the words of my life so you can sing along

May the good Lord bless us in the way only He can

I’m so happy His wisdom put an Angel in my plan

 

One day in tomorrow we’ll be old and gray

The glory of our story we can’t yet say

I promise you I’ll do my best and more

Rest easy never leave me be secure


Hey Angel love is in your smile

A lifetime is only a short while

Hey Angel forever lover and friend

To somewhere beyond the end

 GREAT BOOK OF SONG LYRICS


The Big Book Of Song Lyrics, Check It Out!!

Sunday, September 29, 2024

October

 October


I wasn’t going to write this song

I had fears of everything wrong

Perhaps the melody wouldn’t be sweet

Or the rhythm would miss a beat

 

You were a tramp in red in September

You whore in orange in October

Hey pumpkin you’re a tasty slice

There lingers a scent of sweet spice

 

Walter was born on Columbus day

My brother walked in a wicked way

He got nice the day before he died

The power of Love can’t be denied

 

You were a tramp in red in September

You whore in orange in October

Hey pumpkin you’re a tasty slice

There lingers a scent of sweet spice

 

Dementia is sweet Sylvia’s disease

On my knees pleading to God please

But the silence leaves me in wonder

Unless there’s voice inside the thunder

 

You were a tramp in red in September

You whore in orange in October

Hey pumpkin you’re a tasty slice

There lingers a scent of sweet spice

 

I’m going back to my poetry I want to change the world

I’m leaving the pornography gonna get me a real girl

Hypocrites are circling like vultures in harvest time

Here comes the October reaper death can do no crime

 

I gently kiss your cheek you’re sleeping

I say with a sigh She’s worth keeping

Fasten the seat belts the road gets bumpy

I’d wake you but you’d become grumpy

 

You were a tramp in red in September

You whore in orange in October

Hey pumpkin you’re a tasty slice

There lingers a scent of sweet spice


 GREAT BOOK OF SONG LYRICS


The Big Book Of Song Lyrics, Check It Out!!

Sunday, September 22, 2024

Mirage

Mirage

 

This song is a poor song been singing it my whole life long

I’ve been chasing a dream but somewhere it all went wrong

Visited Vegas looking to win the ultimate score

Woke up drunk after being robbed by some second-string whore

 

Money is a mirage make believe

As you give so shall you receive

Mirages lurk on the distant horizon

You only meet them when you’re dyin’

 

Hear my melody I’m wondering if you could set me free

You see somebody put me in chains and they took the key

I was rocking in Rome trying to visit the Pope at his home

But the priest at the feast declared I was an unknown

 

Religion is a mirage make believe

As you give so shall you receive

Mirages lurk on the distant horizon

You only meet them when you’re dyin’

 

These words are empty words I never found that true love

I searched the valleys low and climbed the mountains above

I once found a doll whom I could call my very best friend

She smiled sweetly and said it completely had to end

 

Love is a mirage make believe

As you give so shall you receive

Mirages lurk on the distant horizon

You only meet them when you’re dyin’

 

I heard Budha proclaim this place was all an illusion

But those orange clad monks drove me to confusion

The Dali Lama stays in the finest of suites

And sits with kings and queens while he eats

 

I wrote my story of glory I’d lay it before you strong

But the publisher gave a rejection citing it was too long

I am a lonesome poet reciting on the corner with a sign

I’ll rhyme for food was my most famous last line

 

Life is a mirage make believe

As you give so shall you receive

Mirages lurk on the distant horizon

You only meet them when you’re dyin’


 GREAT BOOK OF SONG LYRICS


The Big Book Of Song Lyrics, Check It Out!!

Friday, September 20, 2024

Dreams

Dreams

 

I guess I must confess it was Sleeping Beauty                      

Or bright Snow White such a delightful cutie                       

I was young and the big screen cartoons seemed real           

How could they be wrong please tell me what’s the deal?    

 

My dreams never came true how about you?

I was searching for a woman wild and true

Who would love me the whole night through

Dreams are only for the lucky few

 

Carol Gay in her day fought for the working poor

She stood for the union and against the war

Looking fine on the picket line with her sign

At last Carol has passed to meet the divine

 

My dreams never came true how about you?

I was searching for a woman wild and true

Who would love me the whole night through

Dreams are only for the lucky few

 

In the mansion on the hill there’s a huge heating bill

White collared priests in black never do God’s will

Jesus said the right path was narrow and straight

Not in heaven at fifty-seven still forsaking hate

 

My dreams never came true how about you?

I was searching for a woman wild and true

Who would love me the whole night through

Dreams are only for the lucky few

 

They call it the American dream don’t tell the Sioux

If you ain’t on top don’t stop until you get the view

Chasing nothing wake up from the loveless fantasy

We don’t need money honey just come dance with me

 

On the turntable the record sweetly spins

Come take my hand understand nobody wins

Come hear Marvin Gay singing What’s Going On

A crash in a midnight flash and this life’s gone

 

My dreams never came true how about you?

I was searching for a woman wild and true

Who would love me the whole night through

Dreams are only for the lucky few


 GREAT BOOK OF SONG LYRICS


The Big Book Of Song Lyrics, Check It Out!!

Wild

Wild

 

Captain Keith emerged from underneath late in the game                

A fly by night dentist pulled his teeth passing the blame                  

The x-rays these days are fuzzy at best I must confess                     

Besides he who hides in the shade was made to transgress               

 

The wind and the rain will never be reconciled

And the storm of wonder will thunder wild

In vain the rain washes the unborn child

God smiled as the four horses ran wild

 

In Galilee a carpenter was set free early in His youth

His song was strong drenched in the eternal truth

He cast out screaming demons who all knew the deal

I grieve because its so hard to believe that it was real

 

The wind and the rain will never be reconciled

And the storm of wonder will thunder wild

In vain the rain washes the unborn child

God smiled as the four horses ran wild

 

In the Promised Land the Semite fights throwing rocks

Captain Keith curses the New Kids and their old socks

Jesus preaches Sell all that you have and give to the poor

The Christians don’t listen and wage perpetual war

 

The wind and the rain will never be reconciled

And the storm of wonder will thunder wild

In vain the rain washes the unborn child

God smiled as the four horses ran wild

 

On the side without any pride at the topless bar

Jill was a porn star who played the electric guitar

With a little fame she was ahead of the game

She could cry and look God in the eye with no shame

 

Mary Magdalin washed the Lord’s feet with perfume

The religious leaders are rushing to their doom

Judas whispered in Keith’s ear a joke about smoking bones

But it was high flying Brian who formed the Rolling Stones

 

The wind and the rain will never be reconciled

And the storm of wonder will thunder wild

In vain the rain washes the unborn child

God smiled as the four horses ran wild

 GREAT BOOK OF SONG LYRICS


The Big Book Of Song Lyrics, Check It Out!!

Monday, August 26, 2024

Endless Ambition

 Endless Ambition

 FAWM  # 29 

Just in and she got up and walked out the door

Read the bulletin she ain’t working here no more

Got a job with the city looking pretty

Good pay he says but Lord ain’t it a pity

 

Endless ambition find it all around

Endless ambition dig that funky sound

We buried Joyce today God forgive her sin

She was a good woman endless ambition

 

We’re multiplying life’s an exponential function

Texas engineers building jet bombers for destruction

Here I am stuck on level three fighting a troll

Look Jack he got a big sack hope it’s full of gold

 

Endless ambition find it all around

Endless ambition dig that funky sound

We buried Joyce today God forgive her sin

She was a good woman endless ambition

 

I would have sold out but they said you’re asking for too much

The price on the bill if you will was a good woman with tender touch

Joyce is taking a tour of those mansions of glory

Heaven and hell but do you know the real story?

 

Little angels slowly losing their innocence

Sophie’s crying because life makes no sense

I want to touch their souls show them love

Cryptic Egyptian fractions I’m thinking of

 

Endless ambition find it all around

Endless ambition dig that funky sound

We buried Joyce today God forgive her sin

She was a good woman endless ambition

 

At the repass the woman elder had zero class

Reciting banal poetry oh Lord let me pass

Meanwhile with a smile zero the hero scores

It’s a simple equation of money attracts whores.

 

Endless ambition find it all around

Endless ambition dig that funky sound

We buried Joyce today God forgive her sin

She was a good woman endless ambition


GREAT BOOK OF SONG LYRICS

The Big Book Of Song Lyrics, Check It Out!!