Momma’s Country

Momma’s Country

 

She ain’t got a PhD in philosophy                                         

But common sense never came from a degree                      

Kind in her mind and love inside her heart                            

Momma’s country and living’s an art                                    

 

Momma ain’t cool but she’s country

And Momma means the world to me

She may be square but I know she cares

Momma ain’t cool but she’s country

 

She shares the wisdom that only women know

Life is for the living it ain’t no show

Friday night comes around I wanna break free

Momma says child you’re staying home with me

 

Momma ain’t cool but she’s country

And Momma means the world to me

She may be square but I know she cares

Momma ain’t cool but she’s country

 

Life is hard with papa gone we sacrifice

I got an eye for the world it looks so nice

Momma reads the Bible Proverbs thirty-one

A woman of virtue that child how it’s done

 

Momma ain’t cool but she’s country

And Momma means the world to me

She may be square but I know she cares

Momma ain’t cool but she’s country

 

Sometimes late at night I stare at the ceiling

I’m hurting and I don’t know what I’m feeling

I try not to cry but still the tears flow

Life is for the living it ain’t no show

One day I’m going to break free get up and go

Till then I’ll hold to Momma I love her so

 

Momma ain’t cool but she’s country

And Momma means the world to me

She may be square but I know she cares

Momma ain’t cool but she’s country 

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Evangelists

  

Evangelists

 

       "Hello, we're from the Church of Celestial Greatness," the identically dressed youths chimed.

       I growled and rolled my eyes to the back of my head. I was not telegraphing a message but sending it with a precision laser beam.

       "God has sent us here to proclaim the good news of the celestial heaven," exhaled one of the pair in an exasperated breath. He spoke with all the drama of a game show host.

       I looked down upon the humans. As far as I was concerned, that species was the vilest scum the universe had ever vomited up. "Isn't that the church where the reverend took all the money and ran off with the secretary?" I hadn't a clue who these people were, but it was my standard line. You live on the periphery of the galaxy you have to be prepared for all sorts. Especially offensive intrusions of vulgarity.

       The pair looked at each other sheepishly as if I had tread upon some tender wound. One spoke up, his voice quivering and full of nervousness. "No, you're thinking of the Church of Celestial Magnificence," he squeaked. "We cut all our ties with them a good time ago." He managed to smile. Ah, how primitive humans were showing me their teeth! In my culture, that is a challenge to fight.

       In return, I opened my lips to reveal my multiple rows of sharp teeth that could literally bite their heads off. "But don't you hold the same text sacred? I mean, one stinky potato is just like another stinky potato." I roared out the words. Once again, it was my usual response. The evangelists would have felt obliged to educate me if I had pleaded ignorance.

       "Well, yes, sir," squeaked one nervously, stretching his collar with his finger as if his shirt had suddenly shrunk.

       "Well," I snarled. I had better things to do, like staring at a blank wall. My nostrils flared.

       Once more in uncertainty, the two glanced at each other, each exhibiting agonized looks. Returning their attention to me, one said, " Well, thank you for your time, sir."

       A look of sorrow swept across my face as I gave a big sigh. "But I thought you would be staying for dinner!" My voice whined in pity.

       "Dinner!" cried the other, finally breaking his silence. What were you eating?"

       I gave the grandest smile of the day. This was my favorite part when encountering evangelists. "You," I spoke slyly.

       Off to the races, the pair ran, clomping their shoes as they fled. In their haste, the duo neglected to collect their satchel. I took the liberty to investigate and find a host of various printed materials. I was utterly delighted. I now did not need to purchase lining for the bottom of Clarence's cage, my pet bird. All in all, I must say it wasn't a bad day. At least this time, I wasn't going to jail! It's two days at the rock for each evangelist's head you bite off. You see, they knock on the magistrate's door as well.

If you enjoyed this story, you definitely want to read In The Mind Of Maggoo!

Easy Street

 Easy Street

 

White picket fences and rose bushes galore

It’s the American dream who could want more?

But behind the disguise lurks a host of lies

Late at night they fight you can hear their cries

 

Ain’t nothing easy on Easy Street

Where luxury and getting ahead meet

Climbing the corporate ladder gotta compete

Ain’t nothing easy on Easy Street

 

Working late the stress is great coming home tired

Job’s insane the boss is vain you’re feeling wired

Bottle of wine looks so fine pills on the side

The truth is a monster no place to hide

 

Ain’t nothing easy on Easy Street

Where luxury and getting ahead meet

Climbing the corporate ladder gotta compete

Ain’t nothing easy on Easy Street

 

Keeping up with the Jones’ next door

And endless quest for more more more

Rig the economy and start a war

Searching for the perfect score

 

The pay is big but the expense bigger

Money high but you’re in debt so go figure

A corvette and S.U.V, on credit

Materialism rules you let it

 

Ain’t nothing easy on Easy Street

Where luxury and getting ahead meet

Climbing the corporate ladder gotta compete

Ain’t nothing easy on Easy Street

GREAT BOOK OF SONG LYRICS

GREAT BOOK OF SONG LYRICS

"The Evangelist in Hell" by Jimmy Leonard

"The Evangelist in Hell" by Jimmy Leonard

THE ADVENTURE OF A LIFETIME BEGINS WITH THEIR DEATHS.

Joe Platt has always walked the straight and narrow while his brother, David, has bounced around from prison to rehab. After their sudden and untimely deaths, Joe finds himself in Heaven only to learn that David has gone the other direction. Feeling responsible and desperate to reconcile their estranged relationship, Joe receives the Lord’s special permission to give David one last chance at eternal life. To do so, Joe must descend into the land of fire and brimstone, taking St. Peter as his companion and spiritual guide. Encountering a host of characters along the way, including a corrupt preacher and a band of thieves, Joe must make unlikely allies and overcome treacherous demons in order to save his brother before all hope is lost.

Balancing fast-paced action and challenging quandaries, The Evangelist in Hell is an unforgettable journey fraught with danger and powered by faith, fearlessly grappling with the true consequence of freedom and the high cost of love.

The Evangelist In Hell