"Murmurings Of A Mad Man" by John Kaniecki

Sylvia

By John Kaniecki

My love she lies beside me sleeping our dream

My breath is hushed as my pen dictates scream

She is the angel that makes life easy

She is the devil that knows how to please me

Lover, Friend, Doctor, Nurse, Mother and Wife

The steadfast anchor the Love of my life

How many angry words have you forgave?

How many times my life came to save?

I do not have any greater desire

Then to kiss your lips and embrace your fire

You are fantasy a lady and more

In agony the woman I adore

When the well is empty from you I drink

When my mind is barren your thoughts I think

You are my black rose delicately tough

I ask for more I’ll never have enough

I pray your inner hopes of righteousness

Will awaken you with fulfillment’s soft kiss

I am the sage you humble to a fool

I am a god your life I cannot rule

Sleep dear child as I chase futility

You will never know what you mean to me

Once I was lost in madness and committed to Greystone State Psychiatric Hospital. It was a time of depression that I bore mostly on my own. Years later I would reflect upon the abandonment and create a poetry book called “Murmurings Of A Mad Man”. These 100 poems show my heart and soul as I reflected upon one of the worst times of my life. The book is written with strict meter and rhyme, as any good madman would do.

Abandoned in Dorm Sixty Two

Beauty is a pleasing thing to the eye

For a lovely women men kill and die

Charm is a warmth eternal for all days

Conquering hearts as they lift subdued praise

But those things are a wave on the ocean

Life’s greatest treasure is plain devotion

As I sit in dorm number sixty two

Insane thoughts tornado right unto you

Not a lover, nor brother, nor friend

I am just something you liked to pretend

An uncomfortable being ignored

Seen with scorn, in contempt I am deplored

Not a visit, a call, nor a note

“I am the least of these” to give a quote

Abandoned ship when it hit disaster

Seeing a leper you ran the faster

Oh if you but knew our dear sweet Master

For Love is something worthy to die for

To give everything and then give some more

I needed just a hand to hold in hell

I believe you understand it now well

Fly away, to another discover

I desire you not as friend or lover

I am the summation of all holy

For even the greatest begun lowly

But do not pout nor have a frown on face

There’s always grace

Murmurings of a Mad Man come hear it

God is a lunatic and a Spirit

In the end a great deal of life is what you make of it. You can curse the darkness or light a candle. In “Murmurings Of A Mad Man” I light a dark flame. I cannot dismiss the wickedness of those days, but I am far from a bitter victim of the past. These words of poetry are rather a benchmark on the road of my life. Whether they are destined for greatness or obscurity I cannot say. What I can say is that these words of hope, hurt and pain or both honest and forthcoming. Take a journey into part of my world.

To purchase "Murmurings Of A Mad Man"