The Patriotic Plumber
By John Kaniecki
“I have the perfect solution”
he boasts
Dripping plunger and oily
wrench in hand
Dredge the lake
Full investigation
We’ll see if any corpses
surface
There’s a soldier from 1964
Vietnam era
Recorded as A.W.O.L.
You can even Google the
shameful details
Dark mark on our upright
righteous hamlet
Kinda like slaughtering
Countless hordes of buffalo
Shooting the majestic beasts
As easy target practice
Like carnival ducks in a line
From slow trespassing trains
WE DARE NOT REPEAT OUR
MISTAKES
We’ll leave no stone unturned
We’ll leave no stone unturned
And not just the flat ones
The easy to flip ones
Which harbor stealthy lizards
And clever centipedes curling
into balls
Why we’ll even lift the
boulders
Archimedes principles rocks
It’ll be like killing two
birds
With one fragmentation
grenade
I detest a coward
Who refuses to commit
genocide
For corporate profits
It just ain’t the American
way
Standing in her loosely
fitting bath rode
One saggy breast almost
exposed
Blue curlers in her bleach
blonde hair
Cigarette dangling from her
mouth
Ashes dashing the ground by
her pink bunny slippers
“Lot of work for a leaky
faucet”
“How much?”
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